Friday, April 23, 2010

To Hug or Not to Hug....That is the question?

At coffee break at work we were talking about different people with regards to hugs.  Some people are huggie people, and some people don’t like to be hugged.  This reminded me that I need to be more sensitive to that too.  I CAN be a huggy person with people I know, plus I’m an for the poor un-assuming introvert who hates being hugged – watch out!    I’ve a niece who doesn’t  like to be “hugged” by people, even acquaintances – now people she knows well or cute guys – sure!  But the family friend she doesn’t relate to – back off!  She doesn’t want a hug.  Some people should just wear a sign “Hi, don’t hug me!”  Now I don’t go up to strangers and just hug them or everyone I know, but there are times I hug my friends.  Two of them every week! (Yes Dawn and Lisa – that is you)
I touch my children with loving touches to the hair, face and yes, hug them regularly.  Sometimes I just say “I need a hug” and the volunteers just pour forth in our house!  From this I've noticed they too on rough days are getting better at saying back to me "Mom, I need a hug." We are a huggie family and yes, have one girl still in “Huggies” from Wal-Mart!  Seems if Steve and I embrace, it doesn’t take long and the twosome hug becomes a group hug with those little huggers sneaking in between our legs and trying to pry us apart to be included in the “hug.”  It comes with the “I love you’s” (see prior post) too, same kind of logic.  We need it all to be healthy humans. 
Neglected babies don’t develop “right” emotionally and their psyche is all wrong if they are laid in a crib and not held, touched – that nurturing is needed to develop into a loving, compassionate person and for parts of the brain to develop "right.”  All my children came to me lacking a good start of these healthy touches in one way or another at different ages and there are marked differences as a result.  As we get older, sometimes we don’t take enough time to give a loving hand on the shoulder, hug or touch that connects us.  In the fear driven world we live in, teachers can’t hug children at school, and yes, we need to know “good touch, bad touch” stuff, but it seems as though we don’t have enough good compassionate touch in our lives.  TV, video games, texting – all alienate us from touch so much it worries me for our youth of today.
The word “hug” isn’t in the bible.  It is embrace instead.  Or clasp.  So – here is a virtual HUG to anyone who needs it – tell someone today that you love them and give them a hug!  Believe me – you need it too!

Ecclesiastes 3:4-6 NIV

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
 6 a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away

PS:  Today is Happy Adoption Day #9 for the boys - we celebrated around the business of life but acknowledged this special day telling the kiddos we're getting tickets to the State Fair show of MERCYME!  Pray we get them before they sell out, they go on sale May 8th.


Dee said...

I am more of a loving touch person but I have been kown to give the grands some long tight Nonnie hugs. I grew up hugless.And when I joined a church every one just about squeezed you to death. At first I dreaded them, and then I got use to them, and then I expected them, and finally I started giving them. :) Happy adoption day #9. Here are some hugs for everyone. (((HUG-HUG-HUG-HUG-HUG-HUG))

beckymc said...

I am a huggy person most of the time with people I know. I can be shy with those I do not know, but with my family definately a huggy person!
Happy adoption day and have fun at the concert.!

angelonwheels said...

I love how you related/connnected the verses to your post, it never linked like that for me before. cool!

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