Tuesday, April 5, 2011

White Lies

What is a white lie?  Is it the gray area between black and white?  I’ve been struggling with this one with my children.  If I allow white lies – then how do they discern the difference between lying and telling the truth?  This is hard for them given their backgrounds, people; especially adults they’d loved and trusted lied to them constantly.  We have real wounds from those lies that will last a lifetime and take therapy!
So in trying to show the better path of truth, one area as a parent I’ve been adamant about in telling the truth is in having a Facebook account.  You have to be 13.  That is what the company requires.  Today Tobias is 13.  This week he gets his Facebook account.  He has waited for this and I admire his patience in the wait.
I’d really like to hear from all the conservative Christians out there who have allowed their children to have a Facebook page, knowingly putting in a date other than the TRUE date of birth to activate an account and how they justify that?  Just a little white lie?  It’s OK because I monitor my child’s activity?  Their friends have it?  I’d like to hear from the kids who lied to get their pages and state they are Christians in their status – how does God see that white lie?  If we lie about this, do we white-cheat too?  Where does it stop?  Where does it begin?  What is honesty?  When does it apply – only when we want it to?  What worldly rules do we follow and not follow?  Do we speed past speed limits because we don’t get caught?  Underage drink? Do we only have to tell the truth in court after swearing on a Bible? When is it OK versus not OK? 
I’m not trying to present a “holier than thou” attitude; I truly struggle with this as a right from wrong perspective in wanting to set examples for my children.  I’m not perfect and fail regularly.  This one I just don’t get.  So enlighten me….challenge me, grow me, so I can understand societies need for deception in a very visible form and be OK with it. Why do you have a Facebook page if you aren’t 13 yet and if you are a parent why do you allow it?  What is the thinking that I don’t see or understand?
Wikipedia defines white lies in positive way:  White lies are minor lies which could be considered to be harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. White lies are also considered to be used for greater good.
Harmless or even beneficial.  Hmmm.   
12 Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it   Psalm 34:12-14
 17 An honest witness tells the truth,
   but a false witness tells lies.  Proverbs 12:17
What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.  Proverbs 19:22
 So, thank you Tobias for allowing me as your parent to hold to my ideals and be honest...and yes, I'll be your first friend as well!  Luv Mom

1 comment:

4littlefergusons said...

A fantastic view point! We have a young family, everyone 7 and under, but I know this day is coming for us. The day we decide what we believe to be true and right about facebook, dating, texting, curfews, cell phone and on and on. This was well said!

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