It has been a while – you’ll notice I go in spurts.
Summer has been crazy….teens drive me crazy…..
When one of your teens goes on Craigslist to lose their virginity, and their cell phone explodes with graphic texts and so forth….let me just say, parent moment lows. Void of changing a phone number, I’ve embraced the parental blocking tool to its maximum. Pornography – Satan’s friend – in the digital age is a serious vise. A friend shared a video recently I asked all my teens to watch – it was Ted Bundy, serial murder to many women, testifying in his only interview before his execution when he’d spent 10 years in jail. Things that struck me were that he said he was raised in a good Christian home, that his parents and 4 siblings didn’t do anything wrong – he had a loving home. He blamed pornography, the lure and secret he held onto as his demise….and shared that all his cell mates acknowledged being addicted to it as well. What does that tell us? How can we keep our children safe in a sick world? When everywhere we turn there are sinful things pulling at our children – children that aren’t the strongest to begin with fall prey easily. I’m not making excuses for the issues we’ve had. Simply, I don’t know what we could do differently.
I’m already a Mom who tracks what and where my kids go on the internet – we’ve had many problems. When I visit with other parents and they don’t – I think, am I just a helicopter Mom? Or do they seriously just not want to know – some excuse it, kids will be kids……but I’ve seen marriages fail from the vise of porn and so much more……no, I don’t think I’m being unrealistic to hold my kids accountable on the internet, despite themselves.
House fronts – we show one side to the street side, looking special, brick, shutters, porches, landscaping – so different from the sides of the house and the back of the house. Often normal siding and unadorned house backs are a part of a great looking front home. Just like people – who wear the right stuff, look the right way, talk the right talk…..but behind it all is fakeness or falseness. The real them shows through eventually as they can’t always hide it – but many do – spending their whole lives not showing their real sides. Don’t you know those people with the sticky sick smiles that are always sunshine and roses – that have the limp handshakes and whitened smile but couldn’t give you “real” if they tried?
I challenge my teens, what they do on the digital world or how they act in school, if very different from how they are in church or at home – they are being those house fronts too – not showing themselves for who they really are. Teens are seeking – seeking acceptance, their identity and what they really want to believe. I can tell who they hang with – when one says they hate Fords, I simply look at their friend on Facebook going on about how bad Fords are. Peer pressure – trying to go along with the crowd to not be sticking out – to be accepted and apart, despite them not really caring if they drive a Chevy or Ford – they are just happy to have wheels! Salvage titled wheels!
Maybe I’m too real – I know I shock people with my straight forward boldness. But – I believe in being bold – in all I do, but especially in my faith. I’m not perfect and have my flaws, I’ve definitely some hail damage to my siding…..but, you know if you really get to know me, my bark is bigger than my bite, my heart is very soft and sometimes I put up that front too – to protect the vulnerable inner side that is often hurt. And I love to laugh and humor keeps me sane.
Recently I embarrassed my daughter when checking out with a cash purchase, the clerk asked me for my phone number. I said “No thank you.” She persisted she had to have it. I replied I paid cash and I wasn’t going to give her my phone number. My daughter thought “I” was rude – she was embarrassed. I explained to her, for a less than $20 purchase paid in cash they didn’t need my phone number, I didn’t want to be called or have them call me or text me – and it was my right to protect my phone number, a lesson I was hoping she’d get and understand….she didn’t. I realized, even a teller she didn’t know can influence her to do anything they want? At times like these I think all the direction we give our kids falls on deaf ears. To give our kids self-esteem to stand up at the right times is so hard…..life lessons.We are still a work in progress – all of us – on all of it.
Keep us in your prayers!