Monday, February 12, 2018

It's Late

It’s late, I sit alone at the kitchen table browsing through social media waiting. 

The back door finally opens and in he comes.  My mind glimpses to the 2 year old full of energy now before me as a young handsome man of 20.  Where did the years go? 

He peruses the kitchen looking for food and settles on Life cereal.  As he pours his milk he joins me at the kitchen table that holds the memories of this family born of adoption, smaller now in size with the departure of struggling young teens finding their way to their own.

He’s in a good mood tonight, conversation flows as we talk – he is rude, funny and we agree and argue.  A low rumble comes down the hall and he asks “is that dad snoring?”  I reply, “yes.”  We chuckle softly together.  He teases me that I’m his decaying parent.  He is right – life is moving on quickly.  He talks of goals and history past.  His social media buzzes while he downs a second bowl of Life cereal, then gets up to find more snacks.  A leftover garlic biscuit, three small fruit snacks from his sister’s school stash.  He sits down with them and says “I love these things” and organizes them by color offering me a blue one.  

As he heads off for bed, I can hear him below chatting with his friends yet…..he’ll do this awhile. 

As I sit and analyze this time we shared, I realize he is slowly finding maturity….and yet I will always see that 2 year old grin of a child long gone whom I yearn for some do-overs for.  Mourning and sadness wash over me.  

Then peace comes slowly as I embrace the cycle of life and wonder what adulthood will look like for him and pray we’ll be around to see it.  

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