Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
I grew up hearing this – who hasn’t heard this.  Another popular one was “the darkest hour is just before dawn.”  I always picture Jesus Christ on the cross, that last hour of suffering before heaven and eternal life.  And one more….”light at the end of the tunnel.”
I’m looking for the silver lining these days, looking for the light, craving dawn….these are dark days again.  Waves are crashing on the rocks of my life. 
Trying to stay positive, trying to choose happiness and keep it.  It eludes me too often.   If only I could have a constant thought process like: I fell down the stairs today and thought, “Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!”   Keep it positive.  I'm a realist.
I believe that if I walk with God, I’ll reach that destination….that happiness and joy can be a daily thing.  My son strives to make me laugh….he is successful more oft than not, he sees the stress, feels the stress, hovers to protect me…I see his love for me and recognize my hurt has him taking on this protective role.  I welcome the laughter when it comes….washing over me in soothing massages. He wants to lash out at the cause and I halfheartedly hold him back – it isn’t his fight.  Why is it a fight?
The word “failed” runs through my head….then off in the distance I see peace and joy and I want to reach for it, move forward despite the pain to get there…I’m ready.  Many won’t understand – it will be that way. It is okay…they haven’t walked our walk.  The whisper of release pulls me.  I’m so sorry….but I want the storm to stop.  This isn’t only for me, but for the others….they need this too...
Sometimes painful things teach us lessons that we didn’t want or think we needed to know. I don’t know why this happened so I’ll put my trust in God even though this doesn’t make sense.
I pray for release.....I pray for peace.  Let the sun set and rise to show a new day.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

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