As we move through the 7 stages of grief over the “running
away” of our adoptive daughter, I’ll share a few reflections and thoughts. While I’m “stuck” mostly in the anger phase, I
go back and forth between a few others as well.
For those of you that don’t know them, they are:
1.
Shock and Denial (we are way past this one)
2.
Pain and Guilt (pain, yes, guilt – no we’ve done
our best!).
3.
Anger and Bargaining (I’m in Anger – no bargaining
here.)
4.
Depression, reflection, (my husband has suffered
the most in this area)
5.
The Upward Turn (I think we are close in this)
6.
Reconstruction & Working through it. (We’ve
made gains here!)
7.
Acceptance and Love (I’m at acceptance but like
to go back to anger too much).
So my husband shared with me some poetry he’s written as a part of
his grieving process. They showed me his
intense pain in this process that is so different from my walk of processing
this. I’ll share one with you.
Poem of Grief: 08-15
Hope once walked by my side
Never too far away
Sometimes laughing so hard
She begins to snort
Barely able to stop
Then snorts again
Until my eyes begin to leak
Then hope walked out
Not saying goodbye
Just left
Now in place of hope
An imaginary friend is there
Each place I used to see hope
I now see Despair
Despair is a close friend too
But she doesn’t snort
And she doesn’t laugh
I think She colors
My days blue
And sends me waves
Of anxiety
Then holds my hand
An’ makes my eyes leak too.
So, my friends and strangers – please pray as we still walk
through these waters of reflection. This
death like experience is one that is taking time to overcome as we work to bid
this relationship and loved one farewell.
We continue to embrace life around us, the
common thread of hope has emerged – we have hope and faith. As long as there is hope, there is life.