The Poem of Grief

As we move through the 7 stages of grief over the “running away” of our adoptive daughter, I’ll share a few reflections and thoughts.  While I’m “stuck” mostly in the anger phase, I go back and forth between a few others as well.  For those of you that don’t know them, they are:

1.      Shock and Denial (we are way past this one)

2.      Pain and Guilt (pain, yes, guilt – no we’ve done our best!).

3.      Anger and Bargaining (I’m in Anger – no bargaining here.)

4.      Depression, reflection, (my husband has suffered the most in this area)

5.      The Upward Turn (I think we are close in this)

6.      Reconstruction & Working through it. (We’ve made gains here!)

7.      Acceptance and Love (I’m at acceptance but like to go back to anger too much).

So my husband shared with me some poetry he’s written as a part of his grieving process.  They showed me his intense pain in this process that is so different from my walk of processing this.  I’ll share one with you. 

Poem of Grief:  08-15

Hope once walked by my side

Never too far away

Sometimes laughing so hard

She begins to snort

Barely able to stop

Then snorts again

Until my eyes begin to leak

Then hope walked out

Not saying goodbye

Just left

Now in place of hope

An imaginary friend is there

Each place I used to see hope

I now see Despair

Despair is a close friend too

But she doesn’t snort

And she doesn’t laugh

I think She colors

My days blue

And sends me waves

Of anxiety

Then holds my hand

An’ makes my eyes leak too.

  

So, my friends and strangers – please pray as we still walk through these waters of reflection.  This death like experience is one that is taking time to overcome as we work to bid this relationship and loved one farewell.  

We continue to embrace life around us, the common thread of hope has emerged – we have hope and faith.  As long as there is hope, there is life.