Friday, September 27, 2013

Lessons of Loss by a Hummingbird Moth

Last night Sophia came to me holding a deceased Hummer Moth (Sphinx Moth). She blamed her brother for killing it, but he actually had found it dead while mowing. Sophia loves insects very much. She held it tenderly telling me its eye was poked out. Then the tears came as she cried I sat down with her, wiped those tears away and held her. I told her God called it home, it’s time was done and that all insects find cover for the winter – they’ve laid their eggs or whatever and next year I was sure we’d have another Hummer Moth like we have had every year. She felt better. She took it up front to show the neighbor boy saying “touch it” – he wasn’t sure but braved up and touched in gingerly. I love her heart and passion for insects despite my extreme “hate” of them, I try to encourage her despite my fears and give her the “wings” so she won’t have the fears/hate I have – she shows me she doesn’t so that is good.
Yesterday too, my Mom called to say a cousin of mine succumbed to cancer and passed away. So much loss….as we age it seems losses come faster of those we know/knew. Last week a very special uncle passed away as well and the memorial service is still a few weeks away. I see people grieving and sharing that grief as part of their healing in many ways nowadays. We all find our ways to cope.
When I went walking at the track, Sophia preferred to mess around as I got my laps in. As we went to leave, I went over to where she was crouched down watching a pile of ants doing their thing. She looked up at me and asked “do ants poop out their bottoms?” Where does she get this stuff? Oh that growing, inquisitive mind….I love it.
Tonight as the guys go get their football fix, we girls are staying home. I told the girls we’d have movie night without the boys. Sophia pipes up “can we watch movies naked?” Courtney burst out in shocked laughter, it make me smile while inside the visual of that would be very gross….I’ll probably let her sit around in her underwear…wrapped in her blankie but I’m sure Court and I will keep our clothes on! After all, we only live once so find the joy in the little things… the Hummer Moth…joy comes and goes before we know it. 
5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Monday, September 23, 2013

The Skinny Girl Talking in my Mirror

I was a skinny scrawny, long legged girl growing up.  See how “feminine” I’m standing in this circa '70’s family photo. Arms hanging, legs apart, 4-eye glasses….
Long, lean, sassy. I grew up hating being skinny. I was teased a lot by bullies – never grew any boobs until I was married to speak of. “Flat” was what they called me in school. Jokes like “Bet you wear skis when you shower so you don’t fall down the drain” and “stand sideways, stick out your tongue and you’d look like a zipper” etc. Everyone always commented on my skinniness and height.  I just wanted to be "normal" and blend. 
We lived on a farm in my teens and we all worked hard, ate what we grew and butchered chickens,  once in a while a hog. Gathered eggs from about 10,000 chickens by hand for hatching eggs. Work was never in a shortage on the farm. I babysat from young on, then got a job in the kitchen at the French nursing home nearby, moved on to a department store….always knew the ethics of work. We only drank pop for special occasions like Christmas and Easter we’d visit the “Pop Shoppe” in the city and get a case of black cherry pop and other flavors. It was a treat.
Fast forward 30 years of marriage, free to eat and do what I want, no one telling me no and a lifestyle of fast food and all the pop I can have whenever I want it. I enjoy food…especially cheese cake. J Oops….gained some weight. So when I'd look in the mirror, I’d know I was gaining and growing a pot (especially after my hysterectomy) but it wasn’t really bothering me. I had curves finally… the wrong places, but curves….so in the mirror, I still heard that skinny girl talking to me. I was just OK with me. 
So….I think I just woke up from a dream and some reality has come in. I’m fat. Sophia says that is a bad word and makes us use “pleasantly plump.”   Ok then, I’m “pleasantly plump.” I know what to do. Won’t be fun, but I’m giving up the pop, will cut back on sweets (got my sweet tooth from my Dad) and will drink more water as I should. I’m walking on nights Steve isn’t working. Goal #1 to drop 20 lbs in 60 days. I’ll let you know how I’m doing (maybe)….the pop craving is the worst. I miss my Coca Cola.  Maybe I won’t be skinny again, but I can get myself back into “healthier” at least. Wish me luck….pray for me against temptations...for they are everywhere!  Especially with a house full of teens that are skinny as can be....just like the girl in the mirror.  **wink**

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Each Day is a Gift

Sophia woke me up bright and early - before sunrise.  I was annoyed because I have to poke and push during the week to get the girl moving.  We'd been up later at the local football game - so sleeping in was MY plan.  Not hers.

 Then God gave me this view out my back door and I was reminded that each day is a gift.  

And Sophia is a gift too to help me see some beauty I'd have otherwise slept through....including a busy spider on my deck furniture. (Uhg!)  I can even see the beauty of the web despite the creature!

May your day be a gift as well today and each day God grants you another sunrise.

"A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great"  Proverbs 18:16

Friday, September 6, 2013

Spiders on the move.

Spiders are on the move....I don't like that. Can't even just walk in the grass...what is this world coming to?
 Shooo, go away!

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