Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Frozen by the past, hope for the future.

Frozen by the past, hope for the future.
Difficult parenting moments.  Painful realizations. A time of grief. A low beyond anything as parents.
3.5 years hasn’t changed anything tangible.  We persevered believing love can change and fix…..we read books, created goals, worked with our local mental health provider wrapping a plan of support above what we could do, we created mentors, church connections, gave family and community. We prayed. We struggled. We feel failure. We feel hope.
Thank you to our encouraging, understanding family and friends who have supported us. Many don’t know or understand. Many can’t see – because that is what it is.
A church friend who I value, shared that if a loved one was addicted to drugs or alcohol, we’d pursue to find a treatment plan to help them. This is no different. Mental health issues are real. She needs help. She needs to want help and want us. She wants to leave.
So – she is leaving this Thursday for a time unknown as we get her what we hope is life changing help. It won’t be easy for her, nor us, nor our children at home, nor extended family who don’t fully get what this means. We’ve great optimism in the treatment for her– we’ve heard good things and have friends who’ve had success there with their daughter – hence the great hope we hold onto.
There is stigma too – I’m strong enough to put the good front on, but the pain will exist and be there. I know people will talk – people will be mean – people don’t know. It doesn’t matter, we are doing what is right for her, for us and our remaining children at home.
The first 30 days will be the hardest – she can’t contact us nor can we contact her. I know the grief we’ll feel – it is the grief we have now. BUT….hope is the key word here. We have hope.
Pray we have strength to meet this challenging time head on. Pray we grow and become better from this. Pray she finds healing. Pray God’s direction for all of us in our unknown future. We desire reintegration…..but don’t know 100% that it is in the cards. She’ll need to miss us, want us and to work her way back...changed. We’ll all be changed, we need to change. This hurts.
Please respect our pain. But more than anything,  just lift us all up in prayer.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Saturday, October 27, 2012

First Lost Tooth

Besides the leaves falling, we've had something else important "fall" at our house.  Sophia's first lost tooth!  October 16th she was eating an almond when her bottom tooth got VERY wiggly.  Steve had to help her pluck it out as it was dangling there.  It was upsetting to her and she cried and cried.  Later when I connected with her at tumbling – she showed me, then cried again.  Poor baby. 
So we hyped it up for her, making it a positive thing.  Such a big girl, first tooth, new bigger one will grow, tooth fairy, etc. trying to ease the idea and give reassurance it was all a part of God’s plan and she will be just fine!  
Grandma B had just given her a dentist sticker book we’d done.  She’d been to the dentist and they told us she had two wiggly teeth.  We talked about her wiggly teeth, but she was still emotional about it when it happened. 
Last night the tooth fairy delivered the cash goods, even though she wished it would be been a toy instead (so she told me).
The boys shared stories of their teeth falling out, the tooth fairy etc.  Courtney remained quiet.  I realized that we didn’t get to experience her baby teeth coming out and the tradition of those experiences.  She was interested in seeing Sophia’s fallen tooth, but just didn’t say much. 
Change happens, some we celebrate, some we agonize over….but nature does it’s thing even if we aren’t ready for it….my body reminds me of this all too often!
Another step in life, reminding me my little girl is growing up all according to God’s plan and design.
Song of Songs 6:6   Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing.  Each has its twin, not one of them is missing.

Anything falling out in your neighborhood?

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Plastered Leaves

Plastered Leaves
This is what I hear the leaves saying:
1.       Help!
2.       I can’t moooovvvveeeee.
3.       Will you please move your right leaf off my bottom leaf.
4.       This is what a soccer mob feels like.
5.       Why is this fence here again?
6.       I just want to fly!
7.       If you are wondering why I’ve called you all together today……
8.       Staff meeting. Did someone bring the agenda?
9.       At least the dogs can’t get me up here!
10.   I’m so embarrassed.
11.   Stay positive – you do control your destiny!     
12.  Who let the trash in? Who Who Who, Who let the trash in? Who, Who, Who...

Feel free to add your own Leaf voices. 

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