Difficult parenting moments. Painful realizations. A time of grief. A low beyond anything as parents.
3.5 years hasn’t changed anything tangible. We persevered believing love can change and fix…..we read books, created goals, worked with our local mental health provider wrapping a plan of support above what we could do, we created mentors, church connections, gave family and community. We prayed. We struggled. We feel failure. We feel hope.
Thank you to our encouraging, understanding family and friends who have supported us. Many don’t know or understand. Many can’t see – because that is what it is.
A church friend who I value, shared that if a loved one was addicted to drugs or alcohol, we’d pursue to find a treatment plan to help them. This is no different. Mental health issues are real. She needs help. She needs to want help and want us. She wants to leave.
So – she is leaving this Thursday for a time unknown as we get her what we hope is life changing help. It won’t be easy for her, nor us, nor our children at home, nor extended family who don’t fully get what this means. We’ve great optimism in the treatment for her– we’ve heard good things and have friends who’ve had success there with their daughter – hence the great hope we hold onto.
There is stigma too – I’m strong enough to put the good front on, but the pain will exist and be there. I know people will talk – people will be mean – people don’t know. It doesn’t matter, we are doing what is right for her, for us and our remaining children at home.
The first 30 days will be the hardest – she can’t contact us nor can we contact her. I know the grief we’ll feel – it is the grief we have now. BUT….hope is the key word here. We have hope.
Pray we have strength to meet this challenging time head on. Pray we grow and become better from this. Pray she finds healing. Pray God’s direction for all of us in our unknown future. We desire reintegration…..but don’t know 100% that it is in the cards. She’ll need to miss us, want us and to work her way back...changed. We’ll all be changed, we need to change. This hurts.
Please respect our pain. But more than anything, just lift us all up in prayer.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4