Grief just slips up and slaps you in the face.
Grief. It is a word of its own. Lately, it slips up and slaps me in the face. I like to pretend “I’m fine” and say it enough and fake it enough. Truth is, lately I’m really ticked. In the stages of grief some call it the anger phase. I think I already went through all the stages but decided to come back to ticked.
I started to list my “ticked” items then deleted them. I know them, they are there and I don’t want to see them in black and white. I also know who I need to give them too – but I’m going to hold onto them awhile longer so I can be ticked longer. Maybe I like being ticked….no, not really. Sorry if I’ve vented it on you verbally at some point. I like my soap box once in a while.
I’m weary. I think I’m still sad. Well, ticked is a better word to describe it. Not sure how long I’ll hold onto this. How long I hide this from some. Hmm, wish I was better at processing this. Maybe writing this is processing it. Maybe not.
My friend Dawn's favorite saying "this too shall pass." I'm waiting for it to pass.
I think I'll hug my children extra tonight, gaze into their brown and blue eyes and let their hope pour into my soul so I have enough to get up and do it all again tomorrow.....