Thursday, February 26, 2009

Scared of the Dark!

When I was a child I was scared of the dark. I still like the “lights on” when I enter a dark room – partly because I wear glasses and am sight challenged and don’t want to trip or fall on toys Sophia has lovingly spread throughout the house. She is interesting, because she has no fear of the dark when we are home – she’ll go sit in my dark closet and play with my shoes – yet while driving at night, she doesn’t like that at all.

So – this one….is scared of the dark. I need advise. We finished our basement and
made him like a very cool room for a boy. He has this huge dry erase map of the world on one wall, a red spindle bed, his keyboard, cool baseball encouragement and for Christmas he got a light turtle that stays on 45 minutes. So…..last night he told me something has bitten his ankle at night (NOT), there are monsters under his bed, and they have a machine gun they are going to shoot him with it. I told him while in our home, Dad & I will protect him and I’d throw myself in front of bullets to protect him – that is how passionate we are about keeping him safe. I reviewed that the house is locked and no one can enter without our permission. I’ve told him God is watching over him and when he awakes from a bad dream to remember Jesus is always with him. We have night lights everywhere including the bathroom he uses, hall and he can always turn the full lights on too! He’ll grab his clothes and dress in the living room to avoid being in the basement in the morning. He has an “egress escape” window that sheds natural light into his room. He often asks me to go down with him just to dress for bed and I always tuck him in. Steve and I are usually always downstairs until we go to bed – so he isn’t alone downstairs when he is falling asleep. No matter how many times I tell him he is “safe” the fear is there…from so long ago a 2 year old frightened in the dark…yanked from a bad situation that has created such deep what do we do?

To put him back in the bunks with Tobias – means the following: Giggling, not going to sleep, chatting,(yes sounds like fun and we don’t allow that in our house…..kidding OK!) and destroying “stuff” and general noise that will float over to Sophia if she is sleeping or trying to sleep. Countless reminders – GO TO SLEEP. To put Tobias in the basement – we tried that – only worked awhile and he wanted back upstairs too! So?????

I’ve shared with Anthony the following…..but still, the “fear” exists and I don’t want him to be afraid. Any wise words of advice out there?

(New International Version)
Genesis 1:3-5 3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

2 Samuel 22:29 You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.


Dee said...

Hi Val, Gosh, this is a toughie. I personally would bring him back up stairs for awhile since you are not sure what occured in his first two years of life. I don't feel it would be healthy to force him. You have used good tactics to reassure him there is nothing under his bed ect.. and he is still fearful.I would handle him with kid gloves for awhile. It won't be long and they will fighting over who sleeps down stairs. This is just my opinion and may not be the correct thing to do. I am sure it will work out for you soon. Go by your mothers instincts, they are usually the best. Dee

beckymc said...

Hi Val, I was always afraid of the dark. I was mostly afraid of the basement in our Norhtern homes as I grew up. I really had nothing to be afraid of. It just seemed creepy to me. Maybe you could bring him back up stairs for sleeping for a while and allow both boys to play in the basement room. Sort of a play room then he will be able to get more comfortable with being in the basement and maybe want to spend more time there.
I will pray for him and for your situation so you will know what to do.
My son told me a story of how I tramatized him as child by making him watch the movie ET. He told me he was deathy afraid of aliens and I made him watch ET an alien who lands in a back yord and hides in a shed which we had behind our mobile home at the time. He told me this about two years ago he was in his 20s. had I known of his fear I may not have made him watch the movie with us. He did not seem afraid of the movie I thought he liked it.

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