Monday, August 31, 2009

Mama Bear ~ (blame it on my Canadian Roots!)

OK – I’ll admit I’m a mama bear and sometimes I just don’t see straight when I’m ticked off especially when my children are involved. I am direct. I am firm. I communicate. I won’t be a push-over. I like things black and white even though I know things are often grey. I am decisive. I made quick decisions. I have regrets. I move on. I know who I am even when I don’t like myself for choices made, I live with it and try to learn from my moments tapping my more “docile” husband for his introverted view before I blow a gasket – but sometimes I just need to blow my gasket.

So today – this bog is my therapy… it is. My story – my view. Freedom of speech, etc etc. For all you homeschoolers, this ISN’T a feather in your cap. I also need to say I’m proud of our small town school and believe in public education for MOST. That said…I know it isn’t perfect.

Anthony is now a 7th grader. (I just love his freckles!) The BIG school. A regular locker. A sports locker. A boy with ADHD that the system denies him a 504 because he “is learning” and not failing (because of my personality traits above probably!). We attended parent night. They give us papers for each class with expectations. He isn’t the first 7th grader in the school district with ADHD. Organizational skills are his challenge – definitely not mine….but this is his walk now and I can only save him a little or he won’t learn. They tell us that 4 minutes is more than enough time to make it between classes. First week – he gets a tardy. Now he understands them and hopefully won’t let it happen again. He lives in 7th grader fear of getting a tardy now.

He gets behind in computers. I look at the papers and recall her saying “I’ll be here at 7:50 a.m. for any one who gets behind to catch up, because once you are behind it is hard to get caught up. Kids in sports need to use this time because they can’t stay after school.” So I go home and yes, he admits he is a “little” behind. I ask him to go in early the next day. That day I email the teacher to find out if he got caught up – he wasn’t’ in early. Hmmmm. Confront him at home, excuses….didn’t get to the bottom of it. SOOO… the next day I had a client apt in town which allowed me to take Anthony to school. I let him know I was WALKING him to computers so see that he got there. He was embarrassed (heh, I didn’t wear only a bathrobe or anything!). I walked his walk clear from his locker at the north end of the building through the maze and down a hall that he had to walk through of LARGER boys – high school, etc. I WAS INDIMITATED….poor Anthony, hung his head and me trailing behind plugged his way through. So we get to this COMPUTER room at the south end. The time is 7:49 a.m. The room is dark. The room is locked. I tell him we are waiting…..he is jumping out of his skin and wants to leave. We hang to 7:55 a.m. and I allow us to head back to his locker. I left him then, pondering that maybe things aren’t as I always think they are. I learned a few things and I was a little ticked. SO from my Blackberry I emailed the teacher that we came and we left because the room was closed and dark. She said she’d told the kids to have another teacher open the room if she was late. Excuse me?????? You guys give my kid a tardy when he is a little late – what kind of example is this setting for my kid? Double standards are what it is teaching him. That room should be open and computers booted up so when he does show up he can slip into a desk and get to work. I played out this time frame for her:

So let’s play this out by minutes. He gets there at 7:50 the room isn't open, he asks Mr. Parsons to open it, turn on lights, boot up a computer - he now has maybe 10-12 minutes he can actually do work before he has to make it to first hour by 8:15 am to NOT get a tardy clear at the other end of the building and upstairs. Minutes count.

No apology from the teacher just a curt “Thank you for your thoughts.” THOUGHTS…I’m ticked. Sigh….so I won’t send him early. Not through that maze of older boys which could be a recipe for disaster if they decide to pick on him. (Did I mention his 65 lbs and 4'6" only!) Let him get an “F.” I’ve learned there are more important things to learn in life than grades focus only in school. I sure learned when you walk in your kids shoes – the world looks different. Students should be able to give Teachers a tardy or have one erased. Yahhh. OK – I’ve had my say. Phew….feel better? Not really – any teachers reading this out there I’d LOVE your comments.


Glenda, saved by grace said...

Your right there is a double standard, and they aren't setting a very good example for our kids. I had a similar situation here with a math teacher...they just don't make teachers like they used to. I mean really...Teaching should be a calling, not a job!

Dee said...

You go girl!!!!!love the bear photo with the post.LOL. The teacher is missing the mark and sending the i do not care message...but you are balancing it out for him. If you felt intimidated by the high school boys i can only imagine how your son feels.

beckymc said...

I am here on your side Val! You be the mama bear! I agree the teachers should be held to the same standard they are making the kids stand up to if she is tardy for a time she set for him to catch up I agree his tardy should be earsed.

angelonwheels said...

Oh Val I have had so many encouters like this one! It breaks my heart, Most people have no idea, what he may be facing each day. Wishing you both well!

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